We were going through an interesting season as a couple- our little savings could not fix the problem on ground. In the middle of the crisis one morning, I woke up to a lengthy memo from Irewamiri. She suggested a move that negated one of our core values and principles as a family. 

Dear husband, needs can push a family into making decisions that offend your principles. Needs drove a mother to eat up her own son. Needs made a man take a loan while shortchanging his sons’ future. I pray for you that this season, may the Lord meet your needs. May you enjoy the wisdom of the Lord that solves a problem without creating another problem.

I spoke to my spiritual father about the crisis brewing, and he gave me solid counsel that turned the situation around, brought calm to the situation, and settled us as a couple forever.

Dear husband, in my few years of being a pastor, I have made a simple discovery - it is the woman who is always crying out for help. A man would have problems and still keep quiet. 

It did not start today. It was the wife of the son of the Prophet who cried out for help after he had died and creditors came after their sons. I know you are faithful and hardworking, but do not let the problem eat you up. 

Everything that solved their problem was already available- a spiritual father (their pastor), a supportive wife and sons (albeit wrongly placed and used by him in his lifetime), a jar of oil, their empty vessels, their neighbours and their neighbours' vessels. He died because he could not cry for help. Dear husband, please, there are times you cannot keep quiet. Go to your pastor. Have a trusted relationship that can guide you. This storm should not eat you up. 

Be humble like Naaman. That leprosy you are trying hard to keep under your army uniform, "tough man" look, and boardroom achievements is actually public knowledge. When your wife discusses a solution that the maid suggested, do not fight her in your manly ego. Do not say she is talking about you all over the world. She is finding solutions, and at times it is the solution that found her. 

Be humble. That leprosy is also eating you up. That gambling is killing your family finances. Your lustful life is turning your marriage into a ghost town. You are already satisfied by watching strange things, doing strange things and chasing strange women. You have nothing to offer at home. Be humble. That leprosy is eating you up. 

Dear husband, the first healing you will get will be deliverance from ego. You have edged God out (E.G.O) long enough. Now, it is the time to exalt God only (E.G.O). You have to trust Him as he puts His knife on you. You must trust him when he asks you to dip publicly in Jordan, and all you have been covering becomes public knowledge. He is not killing you. He is healing you. 

Dear husband, it would be worse off if you were the one the devil is now using to destroy the little peace left in your marriage. Do not let him use your pride to put a generation in prison. 

You can be free to do whatever you want and create generational problems, or you can choose to learn and grow even when it is not comfortable for your flesh and create generational freedom. 

What will you choose? 

©️ *temilOluwa Ola, Eruwa.*

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